I'm sure there's not a parent out there who isn't appalled by the recent college scandal. If you have a son or daughter who has been through the college entrance process, you know how time consuming and stressful it can be. Endless hours are spent touring venues, writing essays, testing, and preparing for the next big step.
Going thru the process is a great learning experience for your son/daughter, and prepares them for the road ahead. The process itself is a way to allow your son/daughter to build self esteem, by learning to stand on their own two feet. It teaches them to think for themselves, compete, be self-sufficient, meet deadlines, and accomplish goals all on their own. These are all skills that are needed to be successful in the next endeavor.
We all have an unwavering love for our children. We want them to succeed, be productive citizens, and be the best that they can be. Parents, love them enough to stay out of the way. They need to make their own choices and do the hard work, all on their own. Struggling, perseverance, and falling down is all part of the process of building self esteem. And this is all part of human development. YOU'VE DONE YOUR PART. Now it's time for them to step up to the plate, take charge, and show up for their own lives.
Recognize that this is a transition for both of you. Put your own wants, needs, and anxiety aside and allow them to face the task at hand. Show your love by creating an environment where they can learn to rely on themselves and thrive. Don't do the work for them. This only creates a relationship of dependence. In the end, you want your son/daughter to be able to face adversity head on, and to have faith in themselves. The best thing you can do is let them know that you are there by their side for support and guidance. Hence the saying.... "Roots and Wings."